Friday, April 29, 2005

See how old she's getting?

I'll take an apple martini
I'll take an apple martini,
originally uploaded by mademcod.
And this photo was taken a couple of months ago!
Last night was an eventful one in my household. First, my youngest, Maddie, went peepee in the potty -- woohoo! Then, she decided she was too big for her crib, and proceeded to get out on her own. What a nice surprise to hear the pitter-patter of her little feet coming down the hall. So, she got to sleep on the living room floor on the mattress from my son's top bunk. I have no idea what time she finally got to sleep. I guess it's time -- as my wife has been telling me for a couple of weeks now -- to take down the crib.

My oldest, my son Cody, turned 11 yesterday. Only 2 years away from being a teenager! He's been having a good week ... party on Saturday, dinner with my parents on Wednesday, lunch with Mom and Grandma yesterday, ice cream last night, and dinner this Sunday night with the whole family. I don't remember turning 11 being such a big deal for me! I'm glad so much focus is being put on him, though. It's driving his sister Emilee crazy.

The getting home early is working out pretty well. I think Tammy is much less stressed out in the afternoons. I have to be careful not to add to the chaos and stress instead of alleviating it, though. I caught myself yelling at the kids quite a bit the other day. They were driving me nuts with their complete lack of attention to keeping the house clean after Tammy had worked on it all day.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Life is very strange. I was up 'til after midnight last night talking to my wife about our relationship, and I felt like we were really talking for the first time in years. I always thought that I would be the one who was closed off to other people. It turns out that she's been shutting me out for I don't know how long. I guess part of me knew this, but it's still hard to accept. There's something she's not telling me. It's clear that she doesn't trust me enough to tell me. Hell, can I blame her?

She told me that what she wants out of me is a partner, a "companion". Do I know how to do this? It's a huge responsibility. I've spent much of my life avoiding companionship. Can I change that?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

How does anyone find inspiration to write at 7 0'clock in the morning?

Thursday, April 07, 2005

I started reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning last night. Here are some questions I having going into it:
  • How is Frankl going to reconcile extreme tragedy and extreme cruelty with the existential optimism he promotes?
  • How did he survive the loss of almost his entire family without succumbing to bitterness and defeat?
  • Is there a philosophical or religious foundation to his pscychological theories? If so, does he believe that it is necessary for proponents of his theories to share his personal beliefs? What about people who aren't really "deep thinkers"? Are they excluded?
  • How does Frankl's humanistic view differ from Robinson Jeffers' inhumanistic view?

I'm looking forward to reading this book. I read a book a while ago that supposedly applied Frankl's principles to work, and I wasn't terribly impressed. I suspect that the writer portrayed an overly simplistic view of Frankl's ideas, so I'm looking forward to hearing them from the source.