Sunday, June 30, 2002

A writer is supposed to be able to step outside of himself and write with complete objectivity. Or, he is supposed to be able to focus his creative powers on an object completely separate from himself. Sounds easy, but in an odd sort of way it seems even more egocentric than writing about oneself. Why would a person presume to think that another person would want to read something written about something that has no connection to either the reader or the writer? Yes, I know that the writer develops a connection to his subject simply by writing about it. Well, hell, let's just give it a shot.

Last week I was in Big Sur, and I've been dying to write something ever since, though for some reason I've had a hard time forcing myself to do it. One of my favorite poets lived most of his life in Carmel, at the northern end of Big Sur (Big Sur is a mountainous stretch of the central California coast, about 60 miles in length). Most of his poetry is infused with images of the Big Sur countryside, both its natural features and its human inhabitants. Though the bulk of this poetry was written more than 50 years ago, this area hasn't changed all that much, so making my annual trek to this incredibly beautiful part of the state has become somewhat of a pilgrimage for me (unbeknownst to my family, who makes the trek with me). This poet was so remarkably adept at transplanting a place onto the page, that it's hard to separate the poetry from the landscape in my mind. That is unless I think of the place as it existed prior to the last century, which is exactly what Jeffers would like us to do.

I don't know if this is the usual effect of a vacation on me (it had been so long since I had one), but ever since we returned home I've been even more wrapped up in my own problems than usual. Going to Big Sur had the desired effect of reminding me of my own insignificance and reinstilling my wonder and awe at the universe, but I think this may have backfired somehow. It also seems to have fertilized the seed of my discontent with the way my life has been going lately. We have so precious little time on this planet, and there is so little time in the day. Why waste it sitting at a damn desk all day engaging in meaningless tasks?

Hmmm, I said I was going to focus outside of myself in this post, didn't I? Ah well, next time I'll try a little harder. How was my trip? Awe inspiring, humbling, invigorating ... and exhausting. Not sure what that's all about.

Thursday, June 13, 2002

Mmmm ... my pillow is calling to me tonight, so I won't have much to say. What is there to say? Hmph ... not much right now, I guess. Someday I'll get the knack of this, and then you look out ...

Friday, May 31, 2002

Origami Boulders
For a little fun, check out this site. Some people just have too much time on their hands!!

I'm still trying to get into the swing of things with my blog, so be patient with me. I'm not used to just saying whatever is on my mind ... in fact, I'm more accustomed to keeping it all inside, so this is pretty new for me. Well, in case anybody actually reads this, let me say just a little about what the hell I'm doing publishing my thoughts on the Web at 1 o'clock in the morning. I can't say that I really know what I want this blog to become, and really I'm not sure that I should have a vision at this point. I guess that's where the title came from, though so far it doesn't hold a lot of weight.

Yes, I'm a wannabe writer, as I'm sure the majority of the bloggers out there are, minus the ones who actually *are* writers. Like most people in the world, my life has turned out very differently than I planned, though I can't say that I ever had a clearly defined plan. Plan or no plan, if you asked me 10 years ago what I'd be doing in 10 years, I definitely wouldn't have answered with a description of my current situation.

Not that I'm complaining. At least I have the presence of mind to recognize that my life is what I choose to make it. One thing I know for sure is that I *don't* want this blog to become my own private bitching forum (there's plenty of that going around already), but I will say that if there's one thing I can't stand in people, it's the unwillingness to take responsibility for their own lives. But nothing will ever change that. You just have to chuckle and move on with your own life, and that's what I try to do (but it's so hard sometimes!!).

Time to get some shut-eye. I don't know what direction this blog is going to take, but I'm trying to keep an open mind and let the inspiration come from whatever direction it will. Peace, and have a good night!

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

It's too late and I'm too tired to spout anything interesting, witty or profound, so I'll just let the name change to my blog speak for itself.