Prezi project completed

My final project for the Instructional Systems Technology certificate I received from Indiana University:

The Senior Project Capstone Course at Millikan High School on Prezi

Dogzilla

 

Maddie @ Universal Citywalk

Palm Springs

Palm Springs,
originally uploaded by mademcod.

One of the highlights of our Palm Springs trip in May.

Well, we did it ... we're a month into our remodel, and it's coming along nicely. We're adding over 700 sq. ft. to the back of the house, and as of last night, it's all framed in. We were actually able to walk through the addition from room to room and really get a feel for what it's going to be like when it's finished. Very exciting!

Yes, adding on is a stressful business, but I'd still recommend it to anyone who loves their neighborhood and their house, but just needs more room. The thrill of seeing something you designed come to life before your eyes is well worth the endless decisions and the unnerving aspects of trusting someone else to run the project. Hopefully I'll have some pics up on Flickr soon.

Change or Die: "The paradox holds that big changes are easier than small ones. " There's a truism I can vouch for. I can't manage to drag my ass out of bed a couple of hours earlier each morning without some form of external motivation, or sit down to write a page or two each night, but I can quit drinking with relative ease. Excellent article all around.

See how old she's getting?

I'll take an apple martini,
originally uploaded by mademcod.

And this photo was taken a couple of months ago!

Last night was an eventful one in my household. First, my youngest, Maddie, went peepee in the potty -- woohoo! Then, she decided she was too big for her crib, and proceeded to get out on her own. What a nice surprise to hear the pitter-patter of her little feet coming down the hall. So, she got to sleep on the living room floor on the mattress from my son's top bunk. I have no idea what time she finally got to sleep. I guess it's time -- as my wife has been telling me for a couple of weeks now -- to take down the crib.

My oldest, my son Cody, turned 11 yesterday. Only 2 years away from being a teenager! He's been having a good week ... party on Saturday, dinner with my parents on Wednesday, lunch with Mom and Grandma yesterday, ice cream last night, and dinner this Sunday night with the whole family. I don't remember turning 11 being such a big deal for me! I'm glad so much focus is being put on him, though. It's driving his sister Emilee crazy.

The getting home early is working out pretty well. I think Tammy is much less stressed out in the afternoons. I have to be careful not to add to the chaos and stress instead of alleviating it, though. I caught myself yelling at the kids quite a bit the other day. They were driving me nuts with their complete lack of attention to keeping the house clean after Tammy had worked on it all day.

Life is very strange. I was up 'til after midnight last night talking to my wife about our relationship, and I felt like we were really talking for the first time in years. I always thought that I would be the one who was closed off to other people. It turns out that she's been shutting me out for I don't know how long. I guess part of me knew this, but it's still hard to accept. There's something she's not telling me. It's clear that she doesn't trust me enough to tell me. Hell, can I blame her?

She told me that what she wants out of me is a partner, a "companion". Do I know how to do this? It's a huge responsibility. I've spent much of my life avoiding companionship. Can I change that?

How does anyone find inspiration to write at 7 0'clock in the morning?

I started reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning last night. Here are some questions I having going into it:

• How is Frankl going to reconcile extreme tragedy and extreme cruelty with the existential optimism he promotes?
• How did he survive the loss of almost his entire family without succumbing to bitterness and defeat?
• Is there a philosophical or religious foundation to his pscychological theories? If so, does he believe that it is necessary for proponents of his theories to share his personal beliefs? What about people who aren't really "deep thinkers"? Are they excluded?
• How does Frankl's humanistic view differ from Robinson Jeffers' inhumanistic view?

I'm looking forward to reading this book. I read a book a while ago that supposedly applied Frankl's principles to work, and I wasn't terribly impressed. I suspect that the writer portrayed an overly simplistic view of Frankl's ideas, so I'm looking forward to hearing them from the source.

the sunset...

the sunset...,
originally uploaded by Esthr.

Just testing. Amazing photograph, isn't it?

My 10-year old son beat me at chess last night, and I'm not quite sure how to feel about that. Yes, it was luck, and a stupid mistake on my part, but when it comes down to it, I left a door open for him and he made himself at home. I wish I could say I felt only pride, but mingled in with that was a bit of panic that my son might become a better player than me. Kind of an odd sensation ... I expect it in most of my relationships outside of my immediate family, but I don't usually feel it with my kids, or my wife for that matter. I'm not sure if I feel threatened, but there is definitely something discomforting about the sensation.

There was pride, though, and it was gratifying to see him so pleased with himself for finally beating me. Scary, but it wasn't more than 2 weeks ago that he beat me for the first time at Stratego, which clearly gave him the same sort of satisfaction. I guess I need the practice as much as he does (or more).

I don't have much time before my battery dies, so I'll try to be quick. Which shouldn't be difficult, because I don't really have anything to say. I read something about journaling last night. Why is it so easy for some people to write about nothing and everything? I don't get it. All I write is crap, because I can't think of anything interesting to write about. Sure, after years of writing every day, something is bound to float to the top of the cesspool, but who has the time or the inclination to wade into it in the first place?

B.E.S.T. Practices Repository

Just watched the Nick Berg video for the first time. Gut-wrenching doesn't quite capture the feeling of watching it. Dehumanization taken to the extreme. Got to admit, though, that the conspiracy theorists out there, while perhaps grasping at straws in trying to point out discrepancies in the video, have picked up on the fact that the government has a whole lot to gain from perpetuating the brutality one-upmanship that that this video seems to reinforce. Lots of sick shit in this world.

Well, it's been a long time since I posted anything to this blog. Not sure that I have anything worthwhile to say now, but I'll give it a shot nonetheless. I tell you what, there's nothing less motivating to bear your soul in writing than to read a series of freshman comp critical responses. I'm being unfair, though. There were a few responses that were thought-provoking and perceptive, but man, if I have to read one more reference to an essay as a "story" or a story as an "essay" or an essay as a "book", or see Mark Twain referred to as "Mark" ... well, enough ranting. There's really no point.

With my long absence, I guess a bit of news is in order. I am currently the proud father of a 4 month old beauty named Madalynn Rose. She's my third child, second daughter, and quite a handful. She smiles all the time now, and today I think I heard her laugh for the first time. We got out the Johnny Jumper today and put her in it for the first time. She loved it, for a little while at least, and we got some great video of her in it. Once again I have a little angel in my life reminding me what it's all about.

I'm having trouble keeping my own eyes open, let alone yours, so I'm calling it a night.

A writer is supposed to be able to step outside of himself and write with complete objectivity. Or, he is supposed to be able to focus his creative powers on an object completely separate from himself. Sounds easy, but in an odd sort of way it seems even more egocentric than writing about oneself. Why would a person presume to think that another person would want to read something written about something that has no connection to either the reader or the writer? Yes, I know that the writer develops a connection to his subject simply by writing about it. Well, hell, let's just give it a shot.

Last week I was in Big Sur, and I've been dying to write something ever since, though for some reason I've had a hard time forcing myself to do it. One of my favorite poets lived most of his life in Carmel, at the northern end of Big Sur (Big Sur is a mountainous stretch of the central California coast, about 60 miles in length). Most of his poetry is infused with images of the Big Sur countryside, both its natural features and its human inhabitants. Though the bulk of this poetry was written more than 50 years ago, this area hasn't changed all that much, so making my annual trek to this incredibly beautiful part of the state has become somewhat of a pilgrimage for me (unbeknownst to my family, who makes the trek with me). This poet was so remarkably adept at transplanting a place onto the page, that it's hard to separate the poetry from the landscape in my mind. That is unless I think of the place as it existed prior to the last century, which is exactly what Jeffers would like us to do.

I don't know if this is the usual effect of a vacation on me (it had been so long since I had one), but ever since we returned home I've been even more wrapped up in my own problems than usual. Going to Big Sur had the desired effect of reminding me of my own insignificance and reinstilling my wonder and awe at the universe, but I think this may have backfired somehow. It also seems to have fertilized the seed of my discontent with the way my life has been going lately. We have so precious little time on this planet, and there is so little time in the day. Why waste it sitting at a damn desk all day engaging in meaningless tasks?

Hmmm, I said I was going to focus outside of myself in this post, didn't I? Ah well, next time I'll try a little harder. How was my trip? Awe inspiring, humbling, invigorating ... and exhausting. Not sure what that's all about.

Mmmm ... my pillow is calling to me tonight, so I won't have much to say. What is there to say? Hmph ... not much right now, I guess. Someday I'll get the knack of this, and then you look out ...

Origami Boulders
For a little fun, check out this site. Some people just have too much time on their hands!!

I'm still trying to get into the swing of things with my blog, so be patient with me. I'm not used to just saying whatever is on my mind ... in fact, I'm more accustomed to keeping it all inside, so this is pretty new for me. Well, in case anybody actually reads this, let me say just a little about what the hell I'm doing publishing my thoughts on the Web at 1 o'clock in the morning. I can't say that I really know what I want this blog to become, and really I'm not sure that I should have a vision at this point. I guess that's where the title came from, though so far it doesn't hold a lot of weight.

Yes, I'm a wannabe writer, as I'm sure the majority of the bloggers out there are, minus the ones who actually *are* writers. Like most people in the world, my life has turned out very differently than I planned, though I can't say that I ever had a clearly defined plan. Plan or no plan, if you asked me 10 years ago what I'd be doing in 10 years, I definitely wouldn't have answered with a description of my current situation.

Not that I'm complaining. At least I have the presence of mind to recognize that my life is what I choose to make it. One thing I know for sure is that I *don't* want this blog to become my own private bitching forum (there's plenty of that going around already), but I will say that if there's one thing I can't stand in people, it's the unwillingness to take responsibility for their own lives. But nothing will ever change that. You just have to chuckle and move on with your own life, and that's what I try to do (but it's so hard sometimes!!).

Time to get some shut-eye. I don't know what direction this blog is going to take, but I'm trying to keep an open mind and let the inspiration come from whatever direction it will. Peace, and have a good night!